Home Sojourn

Ironical as it may seem, I finally took a vacation and went back home for three weeks. After two and a half years, I went back to familiar territories, only for a while. As the saying goes, a place where everybody knows my name...well not quite!

The vacation was excellent. What else could I say after all those days....long time really! Let me tell you this, everything looked different for the first few days. Somewhere between battling jet lag (delightful concept!), enjoying Mom-made coffee and catching up with Dad, I was trying to ease myself in to everything I had left behind.

Did getting the hang of things back home take time? Oh yes it did. I did walk around with a look of - "Oh, is this how it's done" or worse "Is this how I used to do it" - for a few days.....I was acting quite 'dumb', the only difference here, however, was that I had black hair :).

Though I was brought up in Bangalore, I became a grown-up half way around the world from there. Shouldering responsibility, decision making and facing consequences, all these are hands-on lessons. You will not know what it is like to be thrown in to the deep end of the pool until you actually are thrown in to one. No doubt we train for bigger challenges at home, but only in the world outside, do you actually subject yourself to any hardship, if at all you do.

So 'what is' and 'what isn't' about this entire concept of 'living on one's own' :

'What it is' is this: It's necessary because it's growth. Growth, not because you have the edge of foreign currency, but because a qualified individuality which can benefit the society. Living on one's own could be even in the the same city, same locality, as guardians do, but it's also fending for one's own needs and knowing how much milk or rice would cost.

Freedom: Its yet another important treat.....seldom do people realize that freedom comes with consequences, its a package deal! If one has the freedom to act according to one's thoughts, one will have to live with its consequences. In a solo set up, freedom manifests in to consequence quite fast, especially when you are the only one left to pick up the pieces....hence you learn to set limits and stick to them.

Humility and humanity: When there is no one physically present to serve you food, launder your clothes or give you a simple hug, you value what you left behind. You realize that people should never be taken for granted and the fact that not everyone is blessed with good company all the time.

What 'it isn't' or 'should not' become is a mind numbing experience....remember one always carries what one learned as a child. Values, principles, even the accent. One needs to change for the better, accept changes as they are good, but never speak or think disparagingly about a place that makes such a wonderful home.

Not for nothing, does the heart reside back at home always.....the person who said so knew very well that a day would soon come, when home must only reside in the heart and the physical self must reside elsewhere for better or for worse....soaring high, growing up....but returning home to good food, better company and the best feeling of security.

Nostalgia in a Flash

It's been two years since I came to the US of A and a year since I started blogging. When I started writing I felt, oh wow, I have so much to write. The deeper I got in to blogging, I realized it was way harder than I had imagined it would be. Today as I lie comfortably in my apartment, blank and confused, shedding a few nostalgia-laden tears, I cannot help reminiscing over everything, in a flash.

Realizing the American dream, such a cliche isn't it!!! Why does this American dream even occur in the first place? Community, parents, peer pressure? Why?!! What dares people in the sub-continent to dream, pursue and conquer? I wonder where we get the strength from. To take on the challenges of settling down in a foreign land, is definitely something. But why did I start off and where? I come from this residential area in Bangalore called Malleswaram. Every house in this area has at least one Non-Resident Indian. I keep telling my mom that Malleswaram is filled with single parents. Single because somewhere down the lane, their children hopped on to the bandwagon of "foreign land dream pursuers" and left. Left, some would say, is a harsh way of putting it. Now a days parents want their kids to leave, the long list of software companies in Bangalore would fire employees if they refused to go abroad, and if some one wanted to stay back in India and work, they would be judged!! Do you see what sort of pressures our generation faces. A harmless next door neighbor, going about doing his own things, is also in some remote way, a threat to your own survival!! The fittest being in this day and age is truly a piece of art I must say, for to survive in today's world in not easy.

On the brighter side of things, my dearest cousin gave birth to a baby girl :)!! I had forgotten how preciously pink babies can be!!! When babies are born, family gets augmented and one realizes the true meaning of the concept "family". My cousin and I grew up together to say the least. As single kids to our respective parents, we shared almost everything in common, expect for the fact that we were two entirely different people. We almost agreed on nothing and fought each other with all our might!! We did very different things and ended up choosing totally different life styles. In all this, we never went over a month without seeing each other. Of course, once she got married and went to live in Baharain, things changed. Once I came to the US of A, things changed furthermore. It has been three years since I saw her in person (The numerous webcam conversations don't count, duh!!!). Nothing is ever going to be the same. What's more, we now have a baby too!! :) I saw my niece on the webcam (Again and yet again, thank God for that damned thing called skype!) and I heard her cry :)!!! That feeling was amazing. It's even more scintillating because it is Supreetha's child. If you have known someone all your life, like I have known Supreetha, then you would understand what I am going through. I just pray to God that I can age gracefully, become a cool aunt, while Supreetha becomes the strict mom and that one day we can narrate our story to our precious girl!! And on the same day, I will show her this blog post and probably go through another run of nostalgia....

Jersey versus Bangy!

In this post:

Jersey= New Jersey (NJ), my current home and comfort zone, Indians can quite comfortably live in their own Indian ways here.
Bangy= Bangalore(Karnataka, India), HOME!!! A place I haven't seen in almost two years now, used to be comfort zone, but well..the concept of comfort zones I have come to realize is an illusion!!
Edison= A small but significant sub-urban area in NJ, home town of Thomas Edision and named after him. It is famous not only for the number of Indians, but also for the general "Indian-ness" it has going on.

I read an article, which was recently published in the Times magazine.

Link: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1999416,00.html

The author, an American, from Edison, speaks about how the whole area has come be populated with Indians and how the entire look and feel of the area has changed. The article is bold indeed and is satirical, few seem to think it is insulting to India. It has stirred up many debates among Indians, of all origins, citizenship and residential status.

An opinion of the article was also published by 'The Hindu'.

Link: http://thehindu.com/opinion/lead/article495461.ece

It's very well written indeed, a no non-sensse illustration and is worth your time.

So where does good old Bangy fit in this equation......well as I see it Bangy is no different from Jersey.

Ever since the IT industry started growing (perhaps even earlier than that, but I would not be able to comment on that time frame!!) Bangalore has drawn crowds from all over the country. Bangalore, for one has no natives of it's own. It has always been a city made of people from other places. For some reason, a few people who stayed longer than the rest became Bangaloreans and the others became people who have settled down in Bangalore.

The city is cosmopolitan like no other! It's amazing, how much cultural diversity it offers. Then why do we complain???

People in Bangy town are too guarded about their space. Almost everyday the 'other people' who decided to settle down in Bangalore, be it for livelihood or otherwise get blamed for all that has been going wrong with the city. This particular attitude puts me off, somehow!! How are we to think of a unified country if we cannot learn to be tolerant. So what if people from other places wanted to come and settle down in Bangalore!!

I wish people were less possessive about their territories (ya ya...some philanthropic talk!!) Untimately, how much land does a man need? Something to think about.

Two Posts and One Evening....

Do you remember this movie called 'Yuva' made by Mr. Mani Ratnam. This is indeed one of the best movies made till date. Unfortunately very under rated. The public at large has the worst mood-swings. While flicks with no meaning click at the box-office, sensible movies like this somehow don't make an impact at all.

I am not trying to be a critic. But a few things are definitely thought provoking. When one of the heroines asks the hero why he loved her, he says it's all hormones! Wow....this is so true!! After all, everything is about hormones is it not???!!!! No wonder the world is prepared to invest big bucks in the field of genetics. If a string of proteins is basically the reason for almost everything in this world, then why let it be....why not tamper with it so that it can be reversed to favor mankind..right?? Well.... when will we ever learn to let things be.....

The movie by the way is also about politics.....About how young people enter politics as independents and swear to bring about radical changes in the society....It's a really strong and necessary move....especially for growing economies....I know that I have not supported this theory enough, but I will in future.....at this moment hunger has taken over.....and it's not like we can ask our mothers for food out here..... :)

The sweetest thing happened two days back...I was 'skype-ing' (another modern jargon combining man and machine) with my parents and was having trouble falling asleep...and my Mom offered to sing a lullaby for me :) Wow....I did offer my thanks to technology at that instant....and was even more thankful for life....even with all it's atrocities :)

Two Posts and One Evening....

This will be the first of the two posts I will write today. Why this sudden rush of writing, I don't know! I guess it's out of guilt.....Am feeling bad for being out of touch with my 'writer' side :D.....At times out of profuse penitence springs the best of works.... (OK whatever than meant!!)

I had been to Chicago over the Memorial Day Break. It's funny how these days are designated long weekend breaks....and yes, I've made fun of how conveniently they are spread out over the year....but let's face it, I'm thankful for these getaways....

Anyways coming back to Chicago, it was fantastic!! Let's draw some comparisons between Chicago and NYC, shall we... I for one, am a person who is in unwavering awe of New York City. My adoration of the place continues to grow even though I have grown in my acquaintance with 'The City'. And yet, Chicago still managed to enchant me. Before NYC became what it is today, Chicago was expected to be the hub of all the economic growth. But some how NYC walked away with all its grandeur and Chicago became the unassuming city, with a cute skyline having a character of it's own. While NYC is all buildings and narrow strips of water, Chicago has a small yet a poised skyline with the vastness of the brilliantly blue Lake Michigan. Wow!!! The sight of skylines of both these cities will probably be two of the most brilliant sights of my life....

There are more breath taking sights out there, am sure! But these definitely are something!! When I see such spectacular events, I wonder why I have had the opportunity to see them, while million others have not. I do enjoy the moment and make the most of it or at least try to! But I do so with a lot of mixed emotions. I wish more people could see such sights...I wish more boundaries were dissolved.....but yeah...reality does bite eventually, does it not....

An added feature of the trip was meeting up with friends from school.....People I have grown up with, people from the same 'speck of an area' on the map.....People who have the same stories to talk about over and over again without ever having had enough of it.......People who made it to Chicago from a small residential area called 'Malleswaram' in the city of Bangalore......Yes....circumstances did bring us all together..... and the feeling was overwhelming!
The feeling of being out of touch sublimes instantly........the boredom disappears as quickly as it had appeared....

Things are tough at times....So tough that every other week you promise yourself to make a new start :)......You forget that there is no way out of things so easily..... You have to find a way to keep going or draw a line altogether.....There cannot be too many beginnings...... But when such meetings happen....you feel good....and energized to face the monotony with a new perspective.

Mr. Mani Ratnam and his Commercial Flick

The post is not about Ravana!! Definitely not..... :)

So, if not totally, to a large extent, I got bashed up for my previous post. People called it all sorts of things- an outstretched opinion, dangerously presumptuous, a miserable attempt at trying to get commercial- just like Mani Ratnam trying to direct a commercial flick- and of course.... the 'one size fits all' adjective- NICE. Cricket is indeed a touchy topic and especially so with Indians :) and I learned it the hard way. But I enjoyed all the adulation it got :). Like in 'Guru' Abhishek Bacchan says 'If people are talking about, against or for you, assume that you are making progress :)'- Okay too much melo drama, I agree..... but hey it's true you know.......does it occur to you, yet again that I'm giving credit to Abhishek here and had to Google out Vijay Krishna Acharya's name?!!(one who wrote the Hindi dialouges for the movie)

But for all the conversations and emotions it stirred up over the last week, I would say that the purpose was met. After all blogging is a genre of expression. If I had people listen to me talk all day would I still feel the necessity to blog. Oh Yes!! Each conversation has a take away, at times applicable to the world at large...so yes...... why not document it. I am late to this agenda and there are better writers out there. But hey, intimidation and trepidation is common is it not? Neophytes would definitely fear a Sachin or an Amitabh. Their persona is indeed larger than life. But if Sachin or Amitabh gave up on their skills feeling the same about Gavaskar or Dilip Kumar respectively, would we have a master blaster or a superstar, today?

Consider this scenario. You have known a few people for sometime and are comfortable enough to narrate to them, in excruciatingly painful detail, the deepest thoughts and the most silliest of the occurrences on a daily basis. After a few years the reactions, advices and opinions you get from them become predictable. It's like you know what's coming next in a conversation. Is this point in a relationship a sort of dead end? But most people strive to have such a comfort zone with others, right? If 'comfort level' is what gives people the sense of security, then why does familiarity breed contempt? And out of no where, strangers appear more attractive and interesting, it's like we have something new, a change from the routine.... Do we forget that best friends and close ones were also strangers once? Do we also forget that at the end of the day predictability perhaps is comforting?

All these thoughts are probably a result of missing familiar faces or a result of accepting and instantly adapting to changed settings. Yes...a few of us here chose to change the 'default' setting we came with...(could you get any more geeky Kriths!! :))...But it's also essential to experiment....and while in the thick of things....the soul searching seems never ending....

Lagaan

Brilliant movie!!! Even if the love story between Gracy Sing and Aamir Khan was superfluous....but then what's Bollywood without its romances.... Again, the way cricket is woven in to the script is a laudable effort indeed... Ashutosh Gowariker is a good script writer... But some how it ended up being 'Aamir Khan's Lagaan'..... The guy with the big bucks gets all the fame eh!

Nothing unites or divides India like cricket, it's ironic don't you think? Cricket gives all Indians a sort of cult status that is almost peculiar only to India and yes that is something to be proud of! Apparently the sport originated in Northern Europe after the end of the Roman Empire but nothing is confirmed. But I still believe that it is indigenous to India and that it spawned out of Gilli Danda. No one knows if it came from Europe to India or went the other way round. Somethings in history have left no traces, sadly this is also up for speculative grabs.

Countless reasons make it a 'good for health' sport.

It's easily accessible to anyone who wants to play and provides enough scope for innovation, in the event of being equipment-handicapped- how else would you explain turning a racket ball bat in to a cricket bat.

You do not need a well kept turf or a perfectly flat floor. It can be played just about any where. Kitchen of the house, veranda, classroom, you just occupy and play!

Absolutely anyone can play. This is the only game in which the highly learned will entertain the underdogs and will be ever so glad to provide valuable lessons for free!

You do not need to posses any gadget at all to witness this game. Absolutely anyone- shop keeper, neighbor, stranger will let you watch it and all media of communication will be more than glad to bring the game closer to you in whichever language you prefer.

All the terminologies have a regional equivalent.

On a larger picture:
It brought home the concept of cheer leading squads (hardly a head turner) and leagues. Creates a very pro-active economy for those months of any major season. Eg: IPL (needless to mention..but hey....deserves one right?!).
Creates enough scandal and news to keep everyone up and running during those months.
Brings in enough money to make BCCI one of the richest sporting organizations in the world.
Takes the ad-making industry to a different height, churning out some of the best ads.
Leaves the citizens feeling absolutely entertained and happy :)

Cricket is also the reason sites like Cricinfo and true to the word blogs like 'Cricket with Balls' exist.

And all this is only about the sport at large...imagine if I had started getting in to the nitty gritty's of the players and their stances. I till date do not understand the rules of a test match and I'm not a cricket fanatic either. I still feel that the bat making any sort of connection with the ball is serendipity. Of course, the batsmen does aim at the gaps and makes sure he strikes the ball to a good velocity, but still it's all a big mind boggling game of probability.

The game in it's early years had a certain regal look about it with the lush green stadiums and the players dressed in white. It did look like a gentleman's game and probably was. But now with all the cacophony and theatrical moves all the gentleness is left behind :)

Albeit it never fails to grab the nation's attention, stir up the economy and feed people's imaginations.... So if people out there think cricket is overrated you might want to re-consider.

PS: This is the second blog in the 'you asked for it' series.......Dhiraj hopefully is a happier person now :)

The God of Small Things

Arundhati Roy penned this book and won an award for it. Sandhya tells me that it's a great read. When I looked up it's synopsis online, it said that the book is about 'fraternal twins' dealing with the 'small' things in life which ultimately manifest in to colossal deal breakers. Reading this book will go on my ever accruing 'to-do' list. For me 'The God of Small Things' is a concept in one's life which is essential, at times, to appease the tumults of life or simply help you smile at the end of the day, both good and bad.

The concept of having that 'one special person' is scintillating indeed. But to have a God of Small Things is definitely something......something I realized after I had it. So if you have someone in your life who knows you for what you are without you having to explain, takes you for what you are without coining a title, can perfectly understand your episodes of not-your-best behavior and notices those little things that elude the public at large, there you go! You have indeed found your 'God of Small Things'. There is no need to attach any copyright to this and I'd rather do away with the predisposition of reading between the lines since it happens to be a highly subjective concept!

Give the concept of 'moving-on' a thought. If there is something in the past that upsets you and is pulling you down, you must distract yourself with something so much, that it's effect wears off. You spend all the negative energy piling up within you on things you have chosen to do and that in itself is considered half the healing. But memories these days are so easily accessible. They are just a- call, ping, photo, video, wall-post, comment, scrap, voice-mail, e-mail, g-talk, hotmail, yahoo, buzz, blog, text or status-message- away! Does that ever bother you. I have hardly seen about three pictures of my grand-fathers and both of them were gone by the 80's. It takes a while to start smiling over the past, does it not? But hey...distraction is a good thing, ain't it? Ironical rhetoric.

Capital Gain

The title is yet another one of my attempts at playing with the 'metaphor'. Last weekend I listened to a talk by a certain Mr. Terry. He is a high school teacher and was delivering a lecture on Shakespeare's tragic play 'Macbeth'. What I learned about one of the greatest playwrights will be the subject of another post. For now all that is needed is this: During this speech I was made to realize that Shakespeare was a great fan of metaphors. In literature, use of metaphors is one of the most exciting styles of writing. Anyway..... Read on to find out why I used it as a metaphor :)

Over the Good Friday weekend, I went to see the cherry blossoms at Washington DC with my cousin's family. Go to www.nationalcherryblossomfestival.org for the complete history and event list of the festival. This was my first time in the Capital of the United States of America. So it was like I had a huge capital gain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capital_gain).....But in every sense of the word, it WAS "Capital Gain" and hence the metaphor :) !! (If you want me to look up 'brevity' in the dictionary I certainly will :))

So coming back to the Cherry Blossom festival. It was fantabulous!! I could probably go on and on about how beautiful everything was but at the end of the day my narrative would probably sound like I described a never ending pink fetish!!! So I will tell you about the other things which pitched in to make this weekend what it was!

1) Weather! It was gorgeous. It made me want to apologize to this place for having blamed it for its incessant snow falls.

2) Drive!! New Jersey to Virginia (to meet cousin's family) and then back again to New Jersey. 10 hours of lone time, with having only me to depend on, for entertainment, a safe drive and crisis management! Thanks to AT&T and to all the people on the other side of the 'sony ericson' for making sure that I was alright!! A special mention to the blessed GPS :) and of course Honda! (Imagine my 'thank you' speech at the Oscars :P)

3) Fully Bloomed Cherry Blossoms!!! These trees are all around DC but are concentrated around the Tidal Basin by the Washington Monument. They are pink blossoms and have a slight fragrance. They form a pink canopy all around the Potomac river. Walking under these blossoms made me feel like someone had held a pink parasol over my head. When the wind blew it created its very own pink 'petal fall' which reminded me of the cinematography in Mani Ratnam's movies.

4) Cousin's Family!!!! I was meeting them after three years. I was in tears when I said 'Hi' to her and when I said 'Bye' to her. Speaks volumes about human relationships as a function of time and distance! Such meetings make one feel zestful about a lot of things and helps one see things in a new and improved light!

Speaking of which, Anu had once told Dinu and me (in one of our random moments) that if you see the picturesque foliage around you (more often while driving and especially in Fall) through sun glasses, the Fall colors look more 'Fall-y'. After trying it out on my drive back from Virginia (Definitely more foliage than Texas!!), I have to second it..... Maybe that is why its called seeing things is a different light. What one sees is only about how one sees it. All colors reflect the light that they are seen under. I cannot stop wondering about how strong that statement is.

So summing up, this has truly been one of the best weekends since July 2008. In all the madness over the past few months, I had lost track of what life used to be. For the past three days, I was being taken care of and I had forgotten how much I missed it since I left India and thereafter Texas. This visit taught me one thing, a person, no matter how strong or independent, would love to be taken care of and feel less responsible atleast for a day or two!! And when such a thing happens....in addition to feeling good......you also tend to sleep well...... :)

I am 16.....going on 17....

Obviously the title calls for an explanation. Well I have written 16 posts so far. This happens to be my 17th post. When I reminisce over my posts, I wonder if indeed I wrote all of it. Writing is easy, but writing on a public scratch pad is surely something! As always, anything creative invites a lot of criticism, which taken in the right spirit, can open a whole new direction to learning.

Spring is just around the corner. The 20th of March is supposed to be the official start of the Spring season. For most students in this country, the spring-break is the harbinger of spring :) As planned, most of my friends from Texas vacationed at Florida for their break. As a natural consequence of this, half my g-talk list got washed out over the last weekend :) This sudden dwindling of numbers was too jarring and I must confess that I felt sorry for myself. I did not get consumed in self-pity(Okay maybe I did, a little :)). I went apartment hunting to distract myself and am saddling up to move in on my own tomorrow!! So I can rejoice over the fact that it was indeed a weekend well spent!!

It is a scary venture indeed, moving in on my own. College Main Apartment- place I lived while in College Station- had become a haven to me. With all it's idiosyncrasies, it still felt like home, over time of course. There is this one song by Leona Lewis called 'It will all get better in time'. Mostly I feel it is all in the mind. If one wants to get accustomed to one's habitat, it will happen instantly. If the heart and head is not in something, passage of time is not going to have any effect.

I have been giving acclimatization a lot of thought......The first thing that comes to my mind is a song called 'Comfortably Numb' by Pink Floyd. (Disclaimer: This is not to be misconstrued as anything else other than a mere reference) Over time everyone becomes numb to their surroundings.....And a few become comfortably numb.... We accept all the short-comings, see the brighter side of things and make peace with existence.

As I embark upon this whole new life style.....I being to wonder thus..... Adaptability is all about how soon one can become comfortably numb....One can take the path less traveled and change the system.... But at this point in time and place....the chirpy child in me has been whomped by logistics of reality..... And, even though it is not totally new, I shudder at the thought of being me, myself and I......

.....and with this I wed thee....

Weddings are flamboyant events, I'm sure everyone agrees. It's all about celebration and a certain amount of pomp and show is expected so that the on-lookers can go green with envy :) I'd been to one such ostentatious wedding. An Indian (it's OK to be presumptuous, in case you thought it was Hindu :)) was marrying a Russian Jew. The ceremony was performed in both Vedic and Jewish traditions. This of course woke up the blogger in me. I went into raptures as I had something to think and 'ink' about :)

The Jewish part of the ceremony was sweet and more importantly 'short'. In about forty five minutes they were pronounced man and wife and showered with blessings to live happily ever after. An interesting part of this ceremony was when the groom was asked to stomp on a glass vase to prove that his marriage was indeed not ephemeral. As Physics would brand it, marriage is meant to be a 'chemical reaction', it cannot be reversed.

Coming to the Hindu part of the ceremony......well what can I say... :) All the Sanskrit chants were refurbished to suit the requirements of this country (the specifics are unimportant) and the invitees. The aspect, however, that baffled me the most was how Vedic rituals could be bent to suit the requirements of geographical locations and a variety of faiths. In the sitcom, 'Friends' Monica tells her betrothed Chandler that she wants a 'marriage' and not a 'wedding'. Wedding plans are subjective to the helm, of course, but I wish at times that parents or in general all elders could think of other goals for their existence and not treat the marriages of their off springs as the object of spending all their lives' savings on.

The current economy has had it's effect on the marriage 'market' too (after all it IS a market, is it not!!) A huge crisis has fallen upon parents' of all 'available' singles. It has apparently become exceedingly difficult to find suitors because of the ailing economy. Wow! And here I was......thinking that marriage and more commonly, matters of the heart are untouched by extraneous forces!!!

So...these days on facebook updates and google's buzz.....a very common status message is this- 'there are only 1141 tigers remaining in the world, save them'. George Bernard Shaw said 'When a man wants to kill a tiger it's called sport, when a tiger wants to kill a man it's called ferocity'. This quote is of course courtesy google. Can you imagine what would happen if Google started putting up a price!! The human race is yet to fathom the perils of taking things for granted.

Whenever the talk is about tigers, I am reminded of Jim Corbett. He wrote this book called The Man Eating Leopard of Rudraprayag. The story (a sort of auto-biography) is about how he killed a terrorizing man-eating leopard in the Himalayas with his famous 'shot in the dark' and how he is left with mixed emotions at the end of it all. Almost everything in this world leaves us feeling mixed. And here I was being told....that we live in a binary world......where everything is either 0 or 1..... :)

You Asked For It!

Extreme emotions can help one articulate well. It is true in my case at least. The thought process is a simple string of words. When it decides to flow, it flows. At times no matter how hard you work on it, it just does not fall in place. It's been a long hiatus, ten days since the last post.

Abhineeth (Dabba-musician-friend) suggested that I write more about my day out, the one I had on V-Day. I will allocate a few lines for it. I started driving intending to reach the Cherry Hill Mall in about 20 minutes, for Google Maps told me that I'd take that much time. I set out very confidently and I lost my way!! Trust me on this, there is enough anecdotal evidence that I am as bad as 'bad' can get when it comes to directions :). It took me about one hour to get to the Mall. But the plus point is I got there eventually. I faltered, agreed, but something told me not to give up (I still can get around without a GPS :)). When one goes wrong, there will be a hundred people telling you 'I told you so'. But next time you want to tell some one that, just stand back and reconsider for a moment. When one is down in the doldrums, 'I told you so' is the last thing one would want to hear, is it not?

In one of my conversations I was vociferous on how I felt about, probably, India's most talked about freedom fighter. When I was asked why I opined so, I realized that it was mostly because of what other people narrated and what other people accounted for. I then tried to understand the deeper meaning of History. The etymology of this word, we are taught, is his-story. Story of man. Mostly it is what is told to us. It's a story and a timeless narrative. If Abul Fazl had decided against penning the 'Akbarnama', an account of the Moghul emperor, Akbar - The Great, our understanding of his glorious days, as one of the most formidable kings, would have been different, perhaps.

Deeps (School friend) wrote in her blog, there are a few friends, long time friends, ones we have known long enough to disregard how well we know them. As real as this may be, I still maintain that Friendship is not a Function of Time. This statement would probably act as a catalyst for a lot of discussion. Bring it on :)

Most of you would have heard of Walter Elias Disney or better known as Walt Disney. He is the person behind Walt Disney Motion Pictures. I was watching 'The Lion King' today and remembered how much a motion picture can teach you. I started watching these motion pictures when I was about 5 I guess and to this day I cannot get enough of them :). Try watching it some time. It's a great story, one that will never fail to inspire, in it's own sweet way.

Rendezvous Solitaire

So most of you out there would remember this show called "Rendezvous with Simi Garewal". This show was famous for a plethora of reasons. The most prominent ones, however were: the stark white sets (after a point it got to me!), the hostess (almost demure), the line of questioning and lastly it's guests (sadly, they came last). On the whole, it was entertaining. The only take away, for me, from all this was the word "Rendezvous" :)

On the 14th of February (Valentine's Day), I asked myself out and I decided to go out with myself (the ONLY narcissistic statement in this post, I swear!) And hence I'd like to call it 'Rendezvous Solitaire'.

I had not been to Mc Donanld's in a long time (since I stepped out of Texas) and hence decided to savour the Hot and Spicy alongside the Mocha. Have you ever wondered, how it is possible to find the 'M' looking back at you, exactly when you want it to! Simplifying, whenever you are out and driving long distances, when hunger strikes, more often than not, you will find Mc-D's 'M' beckoning you to come and dine. Dhiraj and I were having a conversation about this, sipping on M's Mocha. I very innocently asked him, why is it so, that where ever you go in America, you will find an 'M'. He told me then that there were engineers who developed advanced models to decide the best suited locations for such logos. The technical bits, I did not comprehend of course, but I can imagine what it must be like, if indeed, your job is to decide where the 'M' should be. It's fun, to say the least, plus there is a cool factor associated with it :)

On that day out I realized one thing. Our mind is full of conversation. Often, in a group, this voice goes unheard. But during stints of solitude, this voice grows louder. It torments, opines, suggests and at times dictates. And without realizing, we yield. At times I feel, no matter what, the only thing that comes a long way, with ourselves, is this voice. Hence, even in a group, try not to let it go unheard. I feel this practice, is an essential spring board, for what we often call, individuality.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said 'Talk not of wasted affection, affection never was wasted'. Why I digressed to what Longfellow said, I have not a clue. Falling in and out of affection is very common. But let us try to imbibe the brighter side of it, rather than thinking, that it was wasted and spent, never to be recovered, for affection does not recede.

Confessions

Language is like any other interest one has. The more one appreciates it, the better one gets at it. English is just the same. Rajeev and I were talking about how difficult it is to conjure the right words at the right time. It takes effort indeed in the beginning. It becomes a habit over time. Eventually there will be no fumbling for words.

Valentine's Day is coming up. 14th of February. This is supposed to be a day for honoring the Christian Martyrs. But some how, it turns out, people express their love on this day. (Romantically so, for one could choose any day of the calender to tell one's parents, friends or relatives : "I love you") Hence, for a few, it's lovers' day, for a few others, it's a count of how many years one has spent being single, for a few "more" others, it's a day to get good discounts (or so they feel!), for a few "many more" others and especially this year, it's just another Sunday. The prices of red roses shoot through the stars on this day! Red-roses are most sought after on V-Day. Two simple events can help one understand economics in a simpler way. 1) Valentine's Day and Red-Roses 2) August 15 and Indian Flags. To be fair, our Economics teacher did use the 2nd option to illustrate better :)

When a guy (conventionally) is trying to tell a girl he likes her, the word often used in place of 'tell' is confess. If a person 'A' is telling another person 'B', "I like you", why is it called confessing? What is so wrong about it that it is called 'confessing one's feelings'. Terminologies used for a few deeds and expressions elude me sometimes!

Chetan Bhagat in his new book said- 'you often take digs at people you call your own'. Is this true? Why do we take digs at all, in the event that they are our own. Pannaga (age old, timeless friend) once wrote in my slam book, a friend is one who knows you completely and still likes you. Notice that I said 'and' not 'but'. You might try to rephrase this sentence with the latter conjunction. I like it with 'and' better!

So here is wishing everyone (all sectors of 'a few') a happy V-Day!

Small Talk

I promised my readers that I'd keep it small this time. However, here the definition of "small" is not totally devoid of ambiguity. Keeping it simple, let's say I will jabber with fewer lines this time around.

There is this American teen drama series called One Tree Hill. I first heard about it from Shwe and she would not stop talking about it :). And now I know why :). The lives of teenagers are complicated indeed ! If I had to give you a comparison, off the cuff of course, my life (so far) would appear like in a Black and White movie while the life of an American teen would be a Broadway Musical !

I watched this movie called "10 Things I Hate About You". Heath Ledger is in this movie. This verse below is taken from the movie:

I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car and I hate the way you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind
I hate you so much it makes me sick and it even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you always lie and I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when you are not around and the fact that you dint call
But most I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

It's an austere poem. But sweet.

In a sincerely empty Bolloywood movie called Kaho Na Pyaar Hain, the only sensible dialogue is something that the Hero tells the Heroine and it goes like this: "Saadgi Khoobsurat Hain". This translates to "Simplicity is Beautiful" in English. Do we all agree on this? It's rhetorical anyway :)

Snowed in and loving it!

It's a 'not so' bright and "definitely not so warm" Saturday evening. Go to www.weather.com for more details. In the United States of America, the weekend and the weather are the two most talked about issues. Nothing unites the US of A like the weekend. Sometimes I wonder is this concept overrated? Saturday and Sunday...two days... when one does not have to drive to office and one does not have to rack one's brains on some situation at work.....are more often than not, considered some sort of powerful healing coves. Why I call them coves...because when compared to the week they are small.....they are getaways yes....but extremely short lived!! But what is so bestial about the week that we give all this adulation to the weekends....well give it a thought if you think it's worth a while....

My high-school Head-Mistress, Mrs. Leelavathi Gururaj, always said, if you like what you do, you are off duty. You never feel fatigued and are happy doing it. The first thought that crosses my mind when I say this is Politics and thereafter Doctors. Both these professions do not follow the convention of time. Situations cannot be put off for another tomorrow. 20 hour days are not uncommon in these professions. Another profession is the Armed Forces. Do we ever think how these people can fall asleep, with a hundred issues badgering them every single moment. Can the governing heads tell themselves, sleep now, these issues can be dealt with tomorrow. What would you do if you reached a place in your life when you hit the sack, not because you want to sleep, it's because you have to because your system can't go on anymore.....

Talking about the armed forces, I watched this movie called A Few Good Men. When I was taken to watch this movie at the Rex theater in Bangalore (am pretty sure my parents did not have a choice and hence took me) , I was barely 6. Now this is a movie which needs to be watched with rapt attention. Being 6, my attention span was that of a 6 year old!! I went to sleep and lost the pack of candies I was holding on to :( . Well some how I had not ventured seeing this movie even as my attention span grew longer. But.... I watched another movie of the same lead actor Tom Cruise (needs no introduction or description) called "Top Gun". I was captured by his spoilt self-consumed air and his playful disposition, he could so effortlessly bring out in his character, that I wanted to see more of it. And I was glad I finally watched A Few Good Men. The movie is terrific to say the least.

Hence, at 6 I hated the movie, after all I went to sleep on some one's lap, and had lost a whole packet of candies....good enough reason to hate it, right??!!!!But now... at 23, I cannot stop thinking or talking about the movie. First impression is never the last impression.....So what I have learnt is.....never conclude anything in the first go.......give it time....Human relationships and impressions can never be assessed based on an instant.... It definitely takes more than that given their complexities...

Ever wondered what came first? Chicken or the Egg? Ice or Water? Seed or Plant? Charles Robert Darwin believed that everything descended over a period of time, from a common descendant. What "thing" did everything descend from? Will we ever be able to lay a finger on one cause and say....'yes this triggered life and this came first'???.

I love to cook. Cooking is an art.....I think it's inborn. One can develop it, but that inexplicable knack to be a good cook is inborn. We are taught the do's and dont's of cooking, we are taught the different and the right combinations....Who discovered all this?? When was it that Chicken Tikka Masala was perfected the first time... I believe that this dish is a favorite in London. Cooking also evolves.... Otherwise how would one explain Indo-Chinese??

My dance teacher always said.....we are all a result of genetic inheritance.....nothing is our own......We resemble a lot of people in all our ways......Our skills are also inherited. So when some one says.....you sing....or you dance.....or you cook .....my thinking goes....I sing probably because my Dad sings really well.....I dance because my mom is an excellent dancer and I cook because both my Grandmothers are excellent cooks......what can one take credit for then? Nothing..

Revathi (a-pseudo roomie-according to many almost invisible-bubbly-a friend :)) was telling me the other day that nature is at times unfair. It's an unnecessary vantage point favoring the men folk. I only had this to say. It's an established equilibrium....It's going on like this since God knows when and it will probably go on this way. Something nice about the ways of nature, is it not.

Think about the concept of 'thank you'. Yet again, in America we are thanking everybody every second. I agree that we should probably use more of this word in the Indian sub-continent. But..... Well why would you do something for someone if you expected a thank you. And if you are indeed waiting to be thanked why bother doing something for someone. So does it mean that what one does for us is only as valuable as a thank you from our side??? The number of times we use thank you's...Phew..."Thanks for dropping me"..."Well thank you for riding with me"..."Thank you for asking me to ride with you"...."Thank you for suggesting that we go out"...."Thank you for accepting the invite"..."Thank you for Blah Blah"..."Blah Blah"!!! Do you see the crazy infinite loop we are entering....we forget what we are actually thankful for in the end.

Oh!! and one thing before I end....What is last thought you have before you go to sleep......And what makes you want to smile with your eyes closed.....

295...Take me home...

I-295 is the blessed free way I take to get to office and drive back home. I enjoyed today's drive back home, a lot! For no particular reason....I was just happy that I could see beyond 30 meters ahead of me and also for the fact that the torrential rains were not trying to tear the car's wind shield apart (added to all the rain water is the water that splashes from the wheels of the car in front of you!!)....Gosh! there was too much water I say! Bad beginning to the post (I know!!) But here goes a hackneyed statement....I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO WRITE ABOUT!

If anyone out there reads Jane Austen, you would like the sentences that follow. I was watching a televised rendition of Emma...Television, idiot box....Until I came to NJ, I had not watched TV for almost a year and a half. But that changed... I never miss How I met your mother, The Big Bang theory and (with a very heavy heart) Two and a Half Men (I hate this sitcom and I have very often criticized it, but alas....). So, anyways....I ended up watching Emma last night. It's not a match at all to Pride and Prejudice. Even till this day, it is one of the most celebrated classics. One should try and capture the quintessence of the book- Human behavior, Distinction of Classes in a Society, Prejudiced Love and the laughable faux paux's of any community in general.

I realized then that in almost all the books and thereafter movies there is one man and one woman. These are the protagonists. And some where kicks in romance. Sometimes unrelated and redundant like in the Hindi movies. Everything is about love!! Somehow love never goes out of fashion...

Dhiraj (guy-singer-ex-neighbor-guide) always says "Bhavnaon ko Samjho". Something very endearing about this saying. I owe him my driving license. Well a lot of people actually and of course Elaine.....

I came across this post today about this book called freakonomics..need to find it and start reading it. I have heard that it's a very good read.

Office ambiance is weird. Today I felt good being in office. I just did not realize how those 9 hours went by. I have colleagues who are at least 30 and older. I am the youngest in the office and I can tell!! The kind of things one talks about are so different. So tea time conversations (amongst women) are about mothers-in-law (some how fathers-in-law don't take the bait that often), kids, health issues or money saving methods. Wow...is that what it will be like 5 years from now...

Ma always says give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you. I think this quote was also on one of the paintings in my house. Pa just says work hard. My parents never really say a lot of things...Philosophical things... Weird how much we learn just by watching... After all....everything can't be confined to a definition....

Switching to profound thoughts..... This poem is a must read...Playthings by Rabindranath Tagore. We are always running after things. That is necessary I agree....But somehow..after having obtained what we want (at least we think we want it!) we don't know how to enjoy it. Small things in life go unnoticed.... the taste of moist wind, color of the clouds, those dried Mohabattein leaves (I don't know the name of that leaf till date!), long walks (even better with a silent companion of course).... and yes random laughter... being laughed at and laughing at silly things....
All you need for good health.....Good company, exercise and good food! How simple :)

Dinu said once "Why worry about the future when I am not even sure if I will exist in that future or not". True one need not worry about future. Assuming we will exist in that future, why not make the most of every moment now! (favorable assumption again :)) And yes...if we indeed assume that we wont exist in that future...why even bother living now....might as well jump off the cliff...

Oh!! sitcom time....

245 days of College Station

245 days of college station was on my gtalk status message a few days ago. This time I was not trying to attract anyone's attention or lure a long lost friend to start a conversation :). Those 245 days were some of the best days I spent in College Station.

Now I am in New Jersey. The birth place of many things and beings. New Jersey has a reputation for the sheer number of Indians living here. For me, it's the birthplace of a lot of things. My first job, car, blog, inexplicable melancholy and a few unforgettable conversations.

At this point of time I really do not know what to write about. I miss College Station, my first home away from home. As I have said before there is something about that place, defined by the people there of course, that is very endearing. And as always, something so close to one's heart has the power to hurt or heal. Yet again, that place is very dear to me and hence has hurt me and helped me heal as well. (Phew...Heavily Metaphorical!!)

Dinu (a guy-friend- ex-neighbor, whom I call God of Small things) says I think too much. Well I guess that is why I love to ink!!! I love writing and would love to become a writer someday. (Wow I sound like Chetan Bhagat!) I liked his new book by the way. Its a good read and has a few good one-liners.

Anu (guy-ex-neighbor-positively a whip- an indigenous Nut Case) had recommended once upon a time that I watch this movie called 500 days of Summer. He had seen it with another friend of ours called Alex (Probably my first very good American gal-pal). I still believe that the company you watch any movie with rubs-off on your liking towards the movie. Anyways, I ended up watching this movie alone and liked it. It's a very ordinary story, really. The difference is in the way it's been told. The best part of the movie is the way it ends. It leaves you..feeling good and with a subtle smile.

Sandhya Venkat!!! We like to call her Sandy. She has this theory about love. She took the help of physics to explain it. Love cannot be created nor destroyed. It can just be passed on. WOW!!

Recently, I was told that girls don't receive compliments very well. They refute the obvious. I was asked why it was so. I said it was because of this inherent nature of women (call it Biology or What not, its true!!!) which longs for more compliments and can never get enough!! :) When I narrated this to Rajeev (An avid Unwound reader, critic and friend) he told me that both himself and Sandeep (my first acquaintance with theater and of course a long time pal) believe this nature to be true especially in me! :P

Everyday I drive about 70 miles (to+fro=70). About 85 percent of this trip is on a freeway. My average speed is about 63 mph. I love the drive. It's a lot of concentration on the vehicles around me and a lot of introspection. As Wordsworth says in one of his poems, blissful solitude :) Life I realized is like a freeway (Bizarre thought, almost elusive!). We leave a few people behind, few people leave us behind and very few keep up till the end.

Saranya, my roomie for a while, was reading this book called The Fountain Head, during the days I spent saying bye to College Station. It's a brilliant book but reading it is like taking a one credit course :). One of the quotes from that book was on her status message. It read something like this: "To Say 'I love you' one must know the definition of 'I'!!" WOW! Give this statement a thought and you'd realize its depth.

I was talking to Shwe (cousin, confidant, friend) the other day. I was showing her the new car over the web-camera (The greatest invention this century has seen according to my parents :)...that should be taken with a pinch of salt!). I have not seen her in one and a half years now. There are a lot of people who I have not seen in 18 months!! That's a record breaking duration for me, I must say.

Most of my friends are in India now, hi-fi-ing with their families and friends. The great poet Kalidasa describes the meeting of Lord Rama and his mother after a 14 year exile, to be as eventful and mighty as hot springs coming in contact with the freezing cold water of the Himalayas and eventually thawing them. Such is the effect these meetings have on people. I still do not know when I will get to go back home.

The above paragraphs have no connection with each other. But that is how life is, after all!! It takes a lot of living (most of the times monotonously so..) to be able to establish connection with the on-goings of life. An unrelated blog comes as a respite at times..what say ;)