The Year Gone By

The last post for 2009. Wow....what a year it has been... Again, as I said before, probably one of the most eventful years of my life :) Things happened.... a few left me crying, few left me laughing with tears in my eyes. I am talking to Chandrika right now.. Over phone...Lots to write about.... But will wait for the new year...

On Meghana's Request! :)

This poem......well just read it I would say...

I will always remember
The first time you and I met
Looking back at that day
I knew not, this place where I was to get.

I never thought about us
Even as a passing thought
Now I smile at myself
For this situation, I have myself brought.

So many things have happened
We saw sweet events unfold
Anecdotes kept piling up
Some spoken about, few untold.

All the times that we have shared
Have drawn me closer and closer
I have no grasp of what you think
I wish I could look in to your mind and farther.

I accosted this and maybe its true
I am just another one of your friends
Wish you could take a step further
Understand me and see the changing trends.

Every fight that we have had
Made me realize that I matter
Every time we held the gaze
I felt it was something more than mere flatter.

To this day I do not know
Whether I would tell you or not
After days of familiarity
Is it the lover or the friend that I have got.

I may spend a lifetime
Hoping that you will some day
Look back think and figure out
All the things I wanted to say.

There may come a time
When I will walk away with another
Collecting, crying, leaving behind memories
But my friend, You, I will always remember.

Its been a while now!

It's been so long since I wrote something. I think I just got lethargic or maybe scared. Scared of censure. Have you ever wondered why women are more scared of being judged than men are? Or why it is believed that women cannot be good decision makers? A friend once said, if I see a task...I see only that. But when it comes to her, she sees others things on her way to getting the task accomplished. Its weird but true. Women always think of a lot of things alongside one another. We are biologically programmed to think that way, I feel (though completely not sure what I mean :P).

My last post was written before I started the fall semester. For one, this semester has been the most eventful four months of my life. The learning curve just went up exponentially, for me, in this semester. By learning, I meant those things that you do not get grades for. Ironical as it may seem, there are a few things that are learned, and there is no physical measure of how well one has learned them. I learned that convention (generally accepted survival norms) is the best for almost all things in life.....If you try and step out of the box..be prepared to face cruel consequences.

I read this blog which is mostly driven by the mantra 'comedy of errors'. Its political conceptually, satirical actually. What ever may be its a brilliant blog. There was this one post on that blog which was about how one should blog. The blogger says, strictly, do not make your blog a personal diary. My blog has been so far just that. A personal diary. With all the mundane stuff that I do. And friends actually put up with it! :)

I recently saw this movie called Anything Else.... random.... but it had a few brilliant one liners :)! One went some what like this - "As you go along with life, you'll find no shortage of people who'll tell you how to live!".......re phrasing----as you go along, you'll find no shortage of bloggers who'll blog about how to blog!!!! I decided...what the heck..might as well rave and rant....people who want to read it will do so.....

I believe that relationships you have with each one of your friends or even remote acquaintances are learning experiences. You learn from every person that you know. I hate having to refer any one in a lackadaisical manner and terming them all "a friend of mine". It's generalizing their existence in my life! So from here on I will take the names of all the people I write about on this blog.

First of all let me start off with this guy I call 'Dabba'. We were trying to figure out the notes for this song called Ae Zindagi Gale Lagaale from Sadma. Brilliant Song!!!! Its funny how Dabba can pull out his Guitar any time of the day and start figuring out the notes for different songs. He has hooked me on to a few real good songs and I cant thank him enough for that.

I have another friend called Ramnathan. He was my class mate at RV College of Engineering. This blessed place I got my Civil Engineering BE from. He once said...it does not matter how good a singer or instrumentalist you are...its how good a musician you are that matters. Can you see the difference, while the former two are partial, the latter most is wholesome. Dabba is a musician. I can never get the technical bits right. I guess which is why I feel ill equipped when it comes to music. It will take me a while before I can transition in to a musician.

Its 1.25 AM right now. Its all fogged up out there. Beautiful. There is something beautiful about fog. Something very enigmatic and alluring about the things that you cannot see. The ambiance literally around us this hour is just that! I am still looking for some to have tea with. That's the best part about College Station or maybe for that matter about any student town. Even at 1.30 in the morning (Have you realized that there is NO 1.30 in the night :)??? ) somebody will be up for tea! I bet Anand would be..... Funny enough, he had just finished having tea :)

I havent asked any of them if I could take their names. But I bet they wont mind. Or I assumed so. Assumptions are always good in life. Favorable ones especially :)

I have a crucial day ahead of me tomorrow. I was telling Shwe today how I could have made my life in music, dance and theater. Even in the scariest of my nightmares I was never a Civil Engineer. But then how many people have the spine to stand up to their beliefs. I did not! I wish I had done something out of the box then!!! I again end up at this weird place inside of me. I regret nothing, but I wish I had made more of the time I spent in Bangalore. And some how from the place where I am right now, there will not be a second time.

Patterns of life are unfathomable. I like it that way. All fogged up :) Sometimes even the sunshine does not do the cleaning.... And sometimes it's better not to hope for more sun shine. The ice berg can just come melting down on you when you least expect it... Oh by the way...Did the captain of the Titanic cry?...Someday we'll know......