You Asked For It!

Extreme emotions can help one articulate well. It is true in my case at least. The thought process is a simple string of words. When it decides to flow, it flows. At times no matter how hard you work on it, it just does not fall in place. It's been a long hiatus, ten days since the last post.

Abhineeth (Dabba-musician-friend) suggested that I write more about my day out, the one I had on V-Day. I will allocate a few lines for it. I started driving intending to reach the Cherry Hill Mall in about 20 minutes, for Google Maps told me that I'd take that much time. I set out very confidently and I lost my way!! Trust me on this, there is enough anecdotal evidence that I am as bad as 'bad' can get when it comes to directions :). It took me about one hour to get to the Mall. But the plus point is I got there eventually. I faltered, agreed, but something told me not to give up (I still can get around without a GPS :)). When one goes wrong, there will be a hundred people telling you 'I told you so'. But next time you want to tell some one that, just stand back and reconsider for a moment. When one is down in the doldrums, 'I told you so' is the last thing one would want to hear, is it not?

In one of my conversations I was vociferous on how I felt about, probably, India's most talked about freedom fighter. When I was asked why I opined so, I realized that it was mostly because of what other people narrated and what other people accounted for. I then tried to understand the deeper meaning of History. The etymology of this word, we are taught, is his-story. Story of man. Mostly it is what is told to us. It's a story and a timeless narrative. If Abul Fazl had decided against penning the 'Akbarnama', an account of the Moghul emperor, Akbar - The Great, our understanding of his glorious days, as one of the most formidable kings, would have been different, perhaps.

Deeps (School friend) wrote in her blog, there are a few friends, long time friends, ones we have known long enough to disregard how well we know them. As real as this may be, I still maintain that Friendship is not a Function of Time. This statement would probably act as a catalyst for a lot of discussion. Bring it on :)

Most of you would have heard of Walter Elias Disney or better known as Walt Disney. He is the person behind Walt Disney Motion Pictures. I was watching 'The Lion King' today and remembered how much a motion picture can teach you. I started watching these motion pictures when I was about 5 I guess and to this day I cannot get enough of them :). Try watching it some time. It's a great story, one that will never fail to inspire, in it's own sweet way.

Rendezvous Solitaire

So most of you out there would remember this show called "Rendezvous with Simi Garewal". This show was famous for a plethora of reasons. The most prominent ones, however were: the stark white sets (after a point it got to me!), the hostess (almost demure), the line of questioning and lastly it's guests (sadly, they came last). On the whole, it was entertaining. The only take away, for me, from all this was the word "Rendezvous" :)

On the 14th of February (Valentine's Day), I asked myself out and I decided to go out with myself (the ONLY narcissistic statement in this post, I swear!) And hence I'd like to call it 'Rendezvous Solitaire'.

I had not been to Mc Donanld's in a long time (since I stepped out of Texas) and hence decided to savour the Hot and Spicy alongside the Mocha. Have you ever wondered, how it is possible to find the 'M' looking back at you, exactly when you want it to! Simplifying, whenever you are out and driving long distances, when hunger strikes, more often than not, you will find Mc-D's 'M' beckoning you to come and dine. Dhiraj and I were having a conversation about this, sipping on M's Mocha. I very innocently asked him, why is it so, that where ever you go in America, you will find an 'M'. He told me then that there were engineers who developed advanced models to decide the best suited locations for such logos. The technical bits, I did not comprehend of course, but I can imagine what it must be like, if indeed, your job is to decide where the 'M' should be. It's fun, to say the least, plus there is a cool factor associated with it :)

On that day out I realized one thing. Our mind is full of conversation. Often, in a group, this voice goes unheard. But during stints of solitude, this voice grows louder. It torments, opines, suggests and at times dictates. And without realizing, we yield. At times I feel, no matter what, the only thing that comes a long way, with ourselves, is this voice. Hence, even in a group, try not to let it go unheard. I feel this practice, is an essential spring board, for what we often call, individuality.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said 'Talk not of wasted affection, affection never was wasted'. Why I digressed to what Longfellow said, I have not a clue. Falling in and out of affection is very common. But let us try to imbibe the brighter side of it, rather than thinking, that it was wasted and spent, never to be recovered, for affection does not recede.

Confessions

Language is like any other interest one has. The more one appreciates it, the better one gets at it. English is just the same. Rajeev and I were talking about how difficult it is to conjure the right words at the right time. It takes effort indeed in the beginning. It becomes a habit over time. Eventually there will be no fumbling for words.

Valentine's Day is coming up. 14th of February. This is supposed to be a day for honoring the Christian Martyrs. But some how, it turns out, people express their love on this day. (Romantically so, for one could choose any day of the calender to tell one's parents, friends or relatives : "I love you") Hence, for a few, it's lovers' day, for a few others, it's a count of how many years one has spent being single, for a few "more" others, it's a day to get good discounts (or so they feel!), for a few "many more" others and especially this year, it's just another Sunday. The prices of red roses shoot through the stars on this day! Red-roses are most sought after on V-Day. Two simple events can help one understand economics in a simpler way. 1) Valentine's Day and Red-Roses 2) August 15 and Indian Flags. To be fair, our Economics teacher did use the 2nd option to illustrate better :)

When a guy (conventionally) is trying to tell a girl he likes her, the word often used in place of 'tell' is confess. If a person 'A' is telling another person 'B', "I like you", why is it called confessing? What is so wrong about it that it is called 'confessing one's feelings'. Terminologies used for a few deeds and expressions elude me sometimes!

Chetan Bhagat in his new book said- 'you often take digs at people you call your own'. Is this true? Why do we take digs at all, in the event that they are our own. Pannaga (age old, timeless friend) once wrote in my slam book, a friend is one who knows you completely and still likes you. Notice that I said 'and' not 'but'. You might try to rephrase this sentence with the latter conjunction. I like it with 'and' better!

So here is wishing everyone (all sectors of 'a few') a happy V-Day!

Small Talk

I promised my readers that I'd keep it small this time. However, here the definition of "small" is not totally devoid of ambiguity. Keeping it simple, let's say I will jabber with fewer lines this time around.

There is this American teen drama series called One Tree Hill. I first heard about it from Shwe and she would not stop talking about it :). And now I know why :). The lives of teenagers are complicated indeed ! If I had to give you a comparison, off the cuff of course, my life (so far) would appear like in a Black and White movie while the life of an American teen would be a Broadway Musical !

I watched this movie called "10 Things I Hate About You". Heath Ledger is in this movie. This verse below is taken from the movie:

I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car and I hate the way you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind
I hate you so much it makes me sick and it even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you always lie and I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when you are not around and the fact that you dint call
But most I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

It's an austere poem. But sweet.

In a sincerely empty Bolloywood movie called Kaho Na Pyaar Hain, the only sensible dialogue is something that the Hero tells the Heroine and it goes like this: "Saadgi Khoobsurat Hain". This translates to "Simplicity is Beautiful" in English. Do we all agree on this? It's rhetorical anyway :)

Snowed in and loving it!

It's a 'not so' bright and "definitely not so warm" Saturday evening. Go to www.weather.com for more details. In the United States of America, the weekend and the weather are the two most talked about issues. Nothing unites the US of A like the weekend. Sometimes I wonder is this concept overrated? Saturday and Sunday...two days... when one does not have to drive to office and one does not have to rack one's brains on some situation at work.....are more often than not, considered some sort of powerful healing coves. Why I call them coves...because when compared to the week they are small.....they are getaways yes....but extremely short lived!! But what is so bestial about the week that we give all this adulation to the weekends....well give it a thought if you think it's worth a while....

My high-school Head-Mistress, Mrs. Leelavathi Gururaj, always said, if you like what you do, you are off duty. You never feel fatigued and are happy doing it. The first thought that crosses my mind when I say this is Politics and thereafter Doctors. Both these professions do not follow the convention of time. Situations cannot be put off for another tomorrow. 20 hour days are not uncommon in these professions. Another profession is the Armed Forces. Do we ever think how these people can fall asleep, with a hundred issues badgering them every single moment. Can the governing heads tell themselves, sleep now, these issues can be dealt with tomorrow. What would you do if you reached a place in your life when you hit the sack, not because you want to sleep, it's because you have to because your system can't go on anymore.....

Talking about the armed forces, I watched this movie called A Few Good Men. When I was taken to watch this movie at the Rex theater in Bangalore (am pretty sure my parents did not have a choice and hence took me) , I was barely 6. Now this is a movie which needs to be watched with rapt attention. Being 6, my attention span was that of a 6 year old!! I went to sleep and lost the pack of candies I was holding on to :( . Well some how I had not ventured seeing this movie even as my attention span grew longer. But.... I watched another movie of the same lead actor Tom Cruise (needs no introduction or description) called "Top Gun". I was captured by his spoilt self-consumed air and his playful disposition, he could so effortlessly bring out in his character, that I wanted to see more of it. And I was glad I finally watched A Few Good Men. The movie is terrific to say the least.

Hence, at 6 I hated the movie, after all I went to sleep on some one's lap, and had lost a whole packet of candies....good enough reason to hate it, right??!!!!But now... at 23, I cannot stop thinking or talking about the movie. First impression is never the last impression.....So what I have learnt is.....never conclude anything in the first go.......give it time....Human relationships and impressions can never be assessed based on an instant.... It definitely takes more than that given their complexities...

Ever wondered what came first? Chicken or the Egg? Ice or Water? Seed or Plant? Charles Robert Darwin believed that everything descended over a period of time, from a common descendant. What "thing" did everything descend from? Will we ever be able to lay a finger on one cause and say....'yes this triggered life and this came first'???.

I love to cook. Cooking is an art.....I think it's inborn. One can develop it, but that inexplicable knack to be a good cook is inborn. We are taught the do's and dont's of cooking, we are taught the different and the right combinations....Who discovered all this?? When was it that Chicken Tikka Masala was perfected the first time... I believe that this dish is a favorite in London. Cooking also evolves.... Otherwise how would one explain Indo-Chinese??

My dance teacher always said.....we are all a result of genetic inheritance.....nothing is our own......We resemble a lot of people in all our ways......Our skills are also inherited. So when some one says.....you sing....or you dance.....or you cook .....my thinking goes....I sing probably because my Dad sings really well.....I dance because my mom is an excellent dancer and I cook because both my Grandmothers are excellent cooks......what can one take credit for then? Nothing..

Revathi (a-pseudo roomie-according to many almost invisible-bubbly-a friend :)) was telling me the other day that nature is at times unfair. It's an unnecessary vantage point favoring the men folk. I only had this to say. It's an established equilibrium....It's going on like this since God knows when and it will probably go on this way. Something nice about the ways of nature, is it not.

Think about the concept of 'thank you'. Yet again, in America we are thanking everybody every second. I agree that we should probably use more of this word in the Indian sub-continent. But..... Well why would you do something for someone if you expected a thank you. And if you are indeed waiting to be thanked why bother doing something for someone. So does it mean that what one does for us is only as valuable as a thank you from our side??? The number of times we use thank you's...Phew..."Thanks for dropping me"..."Well thank you for riding with me"..."Thank you for asking me to ride with you"...."Thank you for suggesting that we go out"...."Thank you for accepting the invite"..."Thank you for Blah Blah"..."Blah Blah"!!! Do you see the crazy infinite loop we are entering....we forget what we are actually thankful for in the end.

Oh!! and one thing before I end....What is last thought you have before you go to sleep......And what makes you want to smile with your eyes closed.....

295...Take me home...

I-295 is the blessed free way I take to get to office and drive back home. I enjoyed today's drive back home, a lot! For no particular reason....I was just happy that I could see beyond 30 meters ahead of me and also for the fact that the torrential rains were not trying to tear the car's wind shield apart (added to all the rain water is the water that splashes from the wheels of the car in front of you!!)....Gosh! there was too much water I say! Bad beginning to the post (I know!!) But here goes a hackneyed statement....I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO WRITE ABOUT!

If anyone out there reads Jane Austen, you would like the sentences that follow. I was watching a televised rendition of Emma...Television, idiot box....Until I came to NJ, I had not watched TV for almost a year and a half. But that changed... I never miss How I met your mother, The Big Bang theory and (with a very heavy heart) Two and a Half Men (I hate this sitcom and I have very often criticized it, but alas....). So, anyways....I ended up watching Emma last night. It's not a match at all to Pride and Prejudice. Even till this day, it is one of the most celebrated classics. One should try and capture the quintessence of the book- Human behavior, Distinction of Classes in a Society, Prejudiced Love and the laughable faux paux's of any community in general.

I realized then that in almost all the books and thereafter movies there is one man and one woman. These are the protagonists. And some where kicks in romance. Sometimes unrelated and redundant like in the Hindi movies. Everything is about love!! Somehow love never goes out of fashion...

Dhiraj (guy-singer-ex-neighbor-guide) always says "Bhavnaon ko Samjho". Something very endearing about this saying. I owe him my driving license. Well a lot of people actually and of course Elaine.....

I came across this post today about this book called freakonomics..need to find it and start reading it. I have heard that it's a very good read.

Office ambiance is weird. Today I felt good being in office. I just did not realize how those 9 hours went by. I have colleagues who are at least 30 and older. I am the youngest in the office and I can tell!! The kind of things one talks about are so different. So tea time conversations (amongst women) are about mothers-in-law (some how fathers-in-law don't take the bait that often), kids, health issues or money saving methods. Wow...is that what it will be like 5 years from now...

Ma always says give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you. I think this quote was also on one of the paintings in my house. Pa just says work hard. My parents never really say a lot of things...Philosophical things... Weird how much we learn just by watching... After all....everything can't be confined to a definition....

Switching to profound thoughts..... This poem is a must read...Playthings by Rabindranath Tagore. We are always running after things. That is necessary I agree....But somehow..after having obtained what we want (at least we think we want it!) we don't know how to enjoy it. Small things in life go unnoticed.... the taste of moist wind, color of the clouds, those dried Mohabattein leaves (I don't know the name of that leaf till date!), long walks (even better with a silent companion of course).... and yes random laughter... being laughed at and laughing at silly things....
All you need for good health.....Good company, exercise and good food! How simple :)

Dinu said once "Why worry about the future when I am not even sure if I will exist in that future or not". True one need not worry about future. Assuming we will exist in that future, why not make the most of every moment now! (favorable assumption again :)) And yes...if we indeed assume that we wont exist in that future...why even bother living now....might as well jump off the cliff...

Oh!! sitcom time....

245 days of College Station

245 days of college station was on my gtalk status message a few days ago. This time I was not trying to attract anyone's attention or lure a long lost friend to start a conversation :). Those 245 days were some of the best days I spent in College Station.

Now I am in New Jersey. The birth place of many things and beings. New Jersey has a reputation for the sheer number of Indians living here. For me, it's the birthplace of a lot of things. My first job, car, blog, inexplicable melancholy and a few unforgettable conversations.

At this point of time I really do not know what to write about. I miss College Station, my first home away from home. As I have said before there is something about that place, defined by the people there of course, that is very endearing. And as always, something so close to one's heart has the power to hurt or heal. Yet again, that place is very dear to me and hence has hurt me and helped me heal as well. (Phew...Heavily Metaphorical!!)

Dinu (a guy-friend- ex-neighbor, whom I call God of Small things) says I think too much. Well I guess that is why I love to ink!!! I love writing and would love to become a writer someday. (Wow I sound like Chetan Bhagat!) I liked his new book by the way. Its a good read and has a few good one-liners.

Anu (guy-ex-neighbor-positively a whip- an indigenous Nut Case) had recommended once upon a time that I watch this movie called 500 days of Summer. He had seen it with another friend of ours called Alex (Probably my first very good American gal-pal). I still believe that the company you watch any movie with rubs-off on your liking towards the movie. Anyways, I ended up watching this movie alone and liked it. It's a very ordinary story, really. The difference is in the way it's been told. The best part of the movie is the way it ends. It leaves you..feeling good and with a subtle smile.

Sandhya Venkat!!! We like to call her Sandy. She has this theory about love. She took the help of physics to explain it. Love cannot be created nor destroyed. It can just be passed on. WOW!!

Recently, I was told that girls don't receive compliments very well. They refute the obvious. I was asked why it was so. I said it was because of this inherent nature of women (call it Biology or What not, its true!!!) which longs for more compliments and can never get enough!! :) When I narrated this to Rajeev (An avid Unwound reader, critic and friend) he told me that both himself and Sandeep (my first acquaintance with theater and of course a long time pal) believe this nature to be true especially in me! :P

Everyday I drive about 70 miles (to+fro=70). About 85 percent of this trip is on a freeway. My average speed is about 63 mph. I love the drive. It's a lot of concentration on the vehicles around me and a lot of introspection. As Wordsworth says in one of his poems, blissful solitude :) Life I realized is like a freeway (Bizarre thought, almost elusive!). We leave a few people behind, few people leave us behind and very few keep up till the end.

Saranya, my roomie for a while, was reading this book called The Fountain Head, during the days I spent saying bye to College Station. It's a brilliant book but reading it is like taking a one credit course :). One of the quotes from that book was on her status message. It read something like this: "To Say 'I love you' one must know the definition of 'I'!!" WOW! Give this statement a thought and you'd realize its depth.

I was talking to Shwe (cousin, confidant, friend) the other day. I was showing her the new car over the web-camera (The greatest invention this century has seen according to my parents :)...that should be taken with a pinch of salt!). I have not seen her in one and a half years now. There are a lot of people who I have not seen in 18 months!! That's a record breaking duration for me, I must say.

Most of my friends are in India now, hi-fi-ing with their families and friends. The great poet Kalidasa describes the meeting of Lord Rama and his mother after a 14 year exile, to be as eventful and mighty as hot springs coming in contact with the freezing cold water of the Himalayas and eventually thawing them. Such is the effect these meetings have on people. I still do not know when I will get to go back home.

The above paragraphs have no connection with each other. But that is how life is, after all!! It takes a lot of living (most of the times monotonously so..) to be able to establish connection with the on-goings of life. An unrelated blog comes as a respite at times..what say ;)