Snowed in and loving it!

It's a 'not so' bright and "definitely not so warm" Saturday evening. Go to www.weather.com for more details. In the United States of America, the weekend and the weather are the two most talked about issues. Nothing unites the US of A like the weekend. Sometimes I wonder is this concept overrated? Saturday and Sunday...two days... when one does not have to drive to office and one does not have to rack one's brains on some situation at work.....are more often than not, considered some sort of powerful healing coves. Why I call them coves...because when compared to the week they are small.....they are getaways yes....but extremely short lived!! But what is so bestial about the week that we give all this adulation to the weekends....well give it a thought if you think it's worth a while....

My high-school Head-Mistress, Mrs. Leelavathi Gururaj, always said, if you like what you do, you are off duty. You never feel fatigued and are happy doing it. The first thought that crosses my mind when I say this is Politics and thereafter Doctors. Both these professions do not follow the convention of time. Situations cannot be put off for another tomorrow. 20 hour days are not uncommon in these professions. Another profession is the Armed Forces. Do we ever think how these people can fall asleep, with a hundred issues badgering them every single moment. Can the governing heads tell themselves, sleep now, these issues can be dealt with tomorrow. What would you do if you reached a place in your life when you hit the sack, not because you want to sleep, it's because you have to because your system can't go on anymore.....

Talking about the armed forces, I watched this movie called A Few Good Men. When I was taken to watch this movie at the Rex theater in Bangalore (am pretty sure my parents did not have a choice and hence took me) , I was barely 6. Now this is a movie which needs to be watched with rapt attention. Being 6, my attention span was that of a 6 year old!! I went to sleep and lost the pack of candies I was holding on to :( . Well some how I had not ventured seeing this movie even as my attention span grew longer. But.... I watched another movie of the same lead actor Tom Cruise (needs no introduction or description) called "Top Gun". I was captured by his spoilt self-consumed air and his playful disposition, he could so effortlessly bring out in his character, that I wanted to see more of it. And I was glad I finally watched A Few Good Men. The movie is terrific to say the least.

Hence, at 6 I hated the movie, after all I went to sleep on some one's lap, and had lost a whole packet of candies....good enough reason to hate it, right??!!!!But now... at 23, I cannot stop thinking or talking about the movie. First impression is never the last impression.....So what I have learnt is.....never conclude anything in the first go.......give it time....Human relationships and impressions can never be assessed based on an instant.... It definitely takes more than that given their complexities...

Ever wondered what came first? Chicken or the Egg? Ice or Water? Seed or Plant? Charles Robert Darwin believed that everything descended over a period of time, from a common descendant. What "thing" did everything descend from? Will we ever be able to lay a finger on one cause and say....'yes this triggered life and this came first'???.

I love to cook. Cooking is an art.....I think it's inborn. One can develop it, but that inexplicable knack to be a good cook is inborn. We are taught the do's and dont's of cooking, we are taught the different and the right combinations....Who discovered all this?? When was it that Chicken Tikka Masala was perfected the first time... I believe that this dish is a favorite in London. Cooking also evolves.... Otherwise how would one explain Indo-Chinese??

My dance teacher always said.....we are all a result of genetic inheritance.....nothing is our own......We resemble a lot of people in all our ways......Our skills are also inherited. So when some one says.....you sing....or you dance.....or you cook .....my thinking goes....I sing probably because my Dad sings really well.....I dance because my mom is an excellent dancer and I cook because both my Grandmothers are excellent cooks......what can one take credit for then? Nothing..

Revathi (a-pseudo roomie-according to many almost invisible-bubbly-a friend :)) was telling me the other day that nature is at times unfair. It's an unnecessary vantage point favoring the men folk. I only had this to say. It's an established equilibrium....It's going on like this since God knows when and it will probably go on this way. Something nice about the ways of nature, is it not.

Think about the concept of 'thank you'. Yet again, in America we are thanking everybody every second. I agree that we should probably use more of this word in the Indian sub-continent. But..... Well why would you do something for someone if you expected a thank you. And if you are indeed waiting to be thanked why bother doing something for someone. So does it mean that what one does for us is only as valuable as a thank you from our side??? The number of times we use thank you's...Phew..."Thanks for dropping me"..."Well thank you for riding with me"..."Thank you for asking me to ride with you"...."Thank you for suggesting that we go out"...."Thank you for accepting the invite"..."Thank you for Blah Blah"..."Blah Blah"!!! Do you see the crazy infinite loop we are entering....we forget what we are actually thankful for in the end.

Oh!! and one thing before I end....What is last thought you have before you go to sleep......And what makes you want to smile with your eyes closed.....

295...Take me home...

I-295 is the blessed free way I take to get to office and drive back home. I enjoyed today's drive back home, a lot! For no particular reason....I was just happy that I could see beyond 30 meters ahead of me and also for the fact that the torrential rains were not trying to tear the car's wind shield apart (added to all the rain water is the water that splashes from the wheels of the car in front of you!!)....Gosh! there was too much water I say! Bad beginning to the post (I know!!) But here goes a hackneyed statement....I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO WRITE ABOUT!

If anyone out there reads Jane Austen, you would like the sentences that follow. I was watching a televised rendition of Emma...Television, idiot box....Until I came to NJ, I had not watched TV for almost a year and a half. But that changed... I never miss How I met your mother, The Big Bang theory and (with a very heavy heart) Two and a Half Men (I hate this sitcom and I have very often criticized it, but alas....). So, anyways....I ended up watching Emma last night. It's not a match at all to Pride and Prejudice. Even till this day, it is one of the most celebrated classics. One should try and capture the quintessence of the book- Human behavior, Distinction of Classes in a Society, Prejudiced Love and the laughable faux paux's of any community in general.

I realized then that in almost all the books and thereafter movies there is one man and one woman. These are the protagonists. And some where kicks in romance. Sometimes unrelated and redundant like in the Hindi movies. Everything is about love!! Somehow love never goes out of fashion...

Dhiraj (guy-singer-ex-neighbor-guide) always says "Bhavnaon ko Samjho". Something very endearing about this saying. I owe him my driving license. Well a lot of people actually and of course Elaine.....

I came across this post today about this book called freakonomics..need to find it and start reading it. I have heard that it's a very good read.

Office ambiance is weird. Today I felt good being in office. I just did not realize how those 9 hours went by. I have colleagues who are at least 30 and older. I am the youngest in the office and I can tell!! The kind of things one talks about are so different. So tea time conversations (amongst women) are about mothers-in-law (some how fathers-in-law don't take the bait that often), kids, health issues or money saving methods. Wow...is that what it will be like 5 years from now...

Ma always says give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you. I think this quote was also on one of the paintings in my house. Pa just says work hard. My parents never really say a lot of things...Philosophical things... Weird how much we learn just by watching... After all....everything can't be confined to a definition....

Switching to profound thoughts..... This poem is a must read...Playthings by Rabindranath Tagore. We are always running after things. That is necessary I agree....But somehow..after having obtained what we want (at least we think we want it!) we don't know how to enjoy it. Small things in life go unnoticed.... the taste of moist wind, color of the clouds, those dried Mohabattein leaves (I don't know the name of that leaf till date!), long walks (even better with a silent companion of course).... and yes random laughter... being laughed at and laughing at silly things....
All you need for good health.....Good company, exercise and good food! How simple :)

Dinu said once "Why worry about the future when I am not even sure if I will exist in that future or not". True one need not worry about future. Assuming we will exist in that future, why not make the most of every moment now! (favorable assumption again :)) And yes...if we indeed assume that we wont exist in that future...why even bother living now....might as well jump off the cliff...

Oh!! sitcom time....

245 days of College Station

245 days of college station was on my gtalk status message a few days ago. This time I was not trying to attract anyone's attention or lure a long lost friend to start a conversation :). Those 245 days were some of the best days I spent in College Station.

Now I am in New Jersey. The birth place of many things and beings. New Jersey has a reputation for the sheer number of Indians living here. For me, it's the birthplace of a lot of things. My first job, car, blog, inexplicable melancholy and a few unforgettable conversations.

At this point of time I really do not know what to write about. I miss College Station, my first home away from home. As I have said before there is something about that place, defined by the people there of course, that is very endearing. And as always, something so close to one's heart has the power to hurt or heal. Yet again, that place is very dear to me and hence has hurt me and helped me heal as well. (Phew...Heavily Metaphorical!!)

Dinu (a guy-friend- ex-neighbor, whom I call God of Small things) says I think too much. Well I guess that is why I love to ink!!! I love writing and would love to become a writer someday. (Wow I sound like Chetan Bhagat!) I liked his new book by the way. Its a good read and has a few good one-liners.

Anu (guy-ex-neighbor-positively a whip- an indigenous Nut Case) had recommended once upon a time that I watch this movie called 500 days of Summer. He had seen it with another friend of ours called Alex (Probably my first very good American gal-pal). I still believe that the company you watch any movie with rubs-off on your liking towards the movie. Anyways, I ended up watching this movie alone and liked it. It's a very ordinary story, really. The difference is in the way it's been told. The best part of the movie is the way it ends. It leaves you..feeling good and with a subtle smile.

Sandhya Venkat!!! We like to call her Sandy. She has this theory about love. She took the help of physics to explain it. Love cannot be created nor destroyed. It can just be passed on. WOW!!

Recently, I was told that girls don't receive compliments very well. They refute the obvious. I was asked why it was so. I said it was because of this inherent nature of women (call it Biology or What not, its true!!!) which longs for more compliments and can never get enough!! :) When I narrated this to Rajeev (An avid Unwound reader, critic and friend) he told me that both himself and Sandeep (my first acquaintance with theater and of course a long time pal) believe this nature to be true especially in me! :P

Everyday I drive about 70 miles (to+fro=70). About 85 percent of this trip is on a freeway. My average speed is about 63 mph. I love the drive. It's a lot of concentration on the vehicles around me and a lot of introspection. As Wordsworth says in one of his poems, blissful solitude :) Life I realized is like a freeway (Bizarre thought, almost elusive!). We leave a few people behind, few people leave us behind and very few keep up till the end.

Saranya, my roomie for a while, was reading this book called The Fountain Head, during the days I spent saying bye to College Station. It's a brilliant book but reading it is like taking a one credit course :). One of the quotes from that book was on her status message. It read something like this: "To Say 'I love you' one must know the definition of 'I'!!" WOW! Give this statement a thought and you'd realize its depth.

I was talking to Shwe (cousin, confidant, friend) the other day. I was showing her the new car over the web-camera (The greatest invention this century has seen according to my parents :)...that should be taken with a pinch of salt!). I have not seen her in one and a half years now. There are a lot of people who I have not seen in 18 months!! That's a record breaking duration for me, I must say.

Most of my friends are in India now, hi-fi-ing with their families and friends. The great poet Kalidasa describes the meeting of Lord Rama and his mother after a 14 year exile, to be as eventful and mighty as hot springs coming in contact with the freezing cold water of the Himalayas and eventually thawing them. Such is the effect these meetings have on people. I still do not know when I will get to go back home.

The above paragraphs have no connection with each other. But that is how life is, after all!! It takes a lot of living (most of the times monotonously so..) to be able to establish connection with the on-goings of life. An unrelated blog comes as a respite at times..what say ;)

The Year Gone By

The last post for 2009. Wow....what a year it has been... Again, as I said before, probably one of the most eventful years of my life :) Things happened.... a few left me crying, few left me laughing with tears in my eyes. I am talking to Chandrika right now.. Over phone...Lots to write about.... But will wait for the new year...

On Meghana's Request! :)

This poem......well just read it I would say...

I will always remember
The first time you and I met
Looking back at that day
I knew not, this place where I was to get.

I never thought about us
Even as a passing thought
Now I smile at myself
For this situation, I have myself brought.

So many things have happened
We saw sweet events unfold
Anecdotes kept piling up
Some spoken about, few untold.

All the times that we have shared
Have drawn me closer and closer
I have no grasp of what you think
I wish I could look in to your mind and farther.

I accosted this and maybe its true
I am just another one of your friends
Wish you could take a step further
Understand me and see the changing trends.

Every fight that we have had
Made me realize that I matter
Every time we held the gaze
I felt it was something more than mere flatter.

To this day I do not know
Whether I would tell you or not
After days of familiarity
Is it the lover or the friend that I have got.

I may spend a lifetime
Hoping that you will some day
Look back think and figure out
All the things I wanted to say.

There may come a time
When I will walk away with another
Collecting, crying, leaving behind memories
But my friend, You, I will always remember.

Its been a while now!

It's been so long since I wrote something. I think I just got lethargic or maybe scared. Scared of censure. Have you ever wondered why women are more scared of being judged than men are? Or why it is believed that women cannot be good decision makers? A friend once said, if I see a task...I see only that. But when it comes to her, she sees others things on her way to getting the task accomplished. Its weird but true. Women always think of a lot of things alongside one another. We are biologically programmed to think that way, I feel (though completely not sure what I mean :P).

My last post was written before I started the fall semester. For one, this semester has been the most eventful four months of my life. The learning curve just went up exponentially, for me, in this semester. By learning, I meant those things that you do not get grades for. Ironical as it may seem, there are a few things that are learned, and there is no physical measure of how well one has learned them. I learned that convention (generally accepted survival norms) is the best for almost all things in life.....If you try and step out of the box..be prepared to face cruel consequences.

I read this blog which is mostly driven by the mantra 'comedy of errors'. Its political conceptually, satirical actually. What ever may be its a brilliant blog. There was this one post on that blog which was about how one should blog. The blogger says, strictly, do not make your blog a personal diary. My blog has been so far just that. A personal diary. With all the mundane stuff that I do. And friends actually put up with it! :)

I recently saw this movie called Anything Else.... random.... but it had a few brilliant one liners :)! One went some what like this - "As you go along with life, you'll find no shortage of people who'll tell you how to live!".......re phrasing----as you go along, you'll find no shortage of bloggers who'll blog about how to blog!!!! I decided...what the heck..might as well rave and rant....people who want to read it will do so.....

I believe that relationships you have with each one of your friends or even remote acquaintances are learning experiences. You learn from every person that you know. I hate having to refer any one in a lackadaisical manner and terming them all "a friend of mine". It's generalizing their existence in my life! So from here on I will take the names of all the people I write about on this blog.

First of all let me start off with this guy I call 'Dabba'. We were trying to figure out the notes for this song called Ae Zindagi Gale Lagaale from Sadma. Brilliant Song!!!! Its funny how Dabba can pull out his Guitar any time of the day and start figuring out the notes for different songs. He has hooked me on to a few real good songs and I cant thank him enough for that.

I have another friend called Ramnathan. He was my class mate at RV College of Engineering. This blessed place I got my Civil Engineering BE from. He once said...it does not matter how good a singer or instrumentalist you are...its how good a musician you are that matters. Can you see the difference, while the former two are partial, the latter most is wholesome. Dabba is a musician. I can never get the technical bits right. I guess which is why I feel ill equipped when it comes to music. It will take me a while before I can transition in to a musician.

Its 1.25 AM right now. Its all fogged up out there. Beautiful. There is something beautiful about fog. Something very enigmatic and alluring about the things that you cannot see. The ambiance literally around us this hour is just that! I am still looking for some to have tea with. That's the best part about College Station or maybe for that matter about any student town. Even at 1.30 in the morning (Have you realized that there is NO 1.30 in the night :)??? ) somebody will be up for tea! I bet Anand would be..... Funny enough, he had just finished having tea :)

I havent asked any of them if I could take their names. But I bet they wont mind. Or I assumed so. Assumptions are always good in life. Favorable ones especially :)

I have a crucial day ahead of me tomorrow. I was telling Shwe today how I could have made my life in music, dance and theater. Even in the scariest of my nightmares I was never a Civil Engineer. But then how many people have the spine to stand up to their beliefs. I did not! I wish I had done something out of the box then!!! I again end up at this weird place inside of me. I regret nothing, but I wish I had made more of the time I spent in Bangalore. And some how from the place where I am right now, there will not be a second time.

Patterns of life are unfathomable. I like it that way. All fogged up :) Sometimes even the sunshine does not do the cleaning.... And sometimes it's better not to hope for more sun shine. The ice berg can just come melting down on you when you least expect it... Oh by the way...Did the captain of the Titanic cry?...Someday we'll know......

Going back in time

Today is the 15th of August...So here is wishing the Indians and the South Koreans a happy Independence day. So that is as far as patriotism will go in this post.

As for going back in time...its been 7 years since my Rangapravesham...I will get in to the details of what that is later sometime. 14th of August 2002 was when it happened...It was my first full length solo Bharatnatyam dance performance...Again, I will get in to the description a little later.

I am writing this from Connecticut. I am visiting an aunt and uncle of mine. Last night I met her at the New York Penn Station and had many first times in NYC last night.

Though I had been to NYC in the winter of 2008, I had not seen the Grand Central Station. Well I did last night for the first time and fell in love with it. I had my first NY-cab ride. I had Ethiopian food for the first time. Many of you out there would think why I am obsessed with the city and like the feeling! :)

I went kayak-ing today for the first time :) I did not grow up as a very outdoorsy person..but turns out I sorta am!!! :) I wasn't too bad on the kayak either :) I did not flip over to say the least and kayak-ed for about an hour or so!! Phew...Was amazing fun!

I spoke about my take on gtalk messages in the last post... So, think about it...status messages are just another way of drawing attention....It takes a status message for a long lost friend to ping you most of the times....and status messages can start off a good conversation! Humans find newer ways to accost....Gone are days when people used a conventional line...This seems to be the in-thing.. :)

I have a lot of things to say and share...by most of you reading it..would have heard it from me already..though I started writing the blog assuming I would have a lot of things to write about..indeed its more difficult than I thought it would be!

So I would like to listen from the very limited number of readers...should I continue blogging????