A very American - Need indeed!

Scene: Before hitting the sack conversation with Panna.
Play: As Life likes it.

Characters:
Panna: A person whom I have known for a long time now.....I hope we can go on to discuss our grand-children with each other, someday... :)
Krith: Me, myself and I....Sigh...
Malleswaram: The quintessential old Bangalore residential area, where a lot can happen over a morning walk.
Madhavnagar: Place where Panna lives, an upscale - part residential, part commercial settlement.


Krith: Blah Blah yada yada...blah blah...more blah blah...
Panna: Absolutely Blah Blah...and yes Blah Blah...definitely Blah!
Krith: Blah Blah...Oh and Panna....I need to sleep now. Take care, good night!

(OK now here begins...)

Panna: Krith, why do people in America always say : "I NEED to..." for everything that they have to or want to do...
"I NEED to sleep" , "I NEED to go the Doctor", "I NEED to drop off something", "I NEED to go buy groceries" why is it that you Indians out there, feel this constant NEED to do things...why why why...

Krith: (Thanks for the feed!!) OK my dear, hear me out and I mean this is all earnestness (I really do). In this country, we do most things, because we "need" to do them.

Sleep: As much as I would love continue talking to you, I need to sleep so that I can avoid falling asleep at work, while I'm in the process of warming my extra comfortable chair for nine hours straight.

Doctor: Life hits a zenith of desperation here. I cannot continue ailing silently and am running out of ways to save money but putting off the visit, so you see I need to see the doctor before I get joked at by somebody about my miserable condition, for all you know a complete stranger.

Groceries: This is not Bangalore where its quite a pleasure to .....

Panna: HOLD ON! (Maybe sounded a little indignant :) but all in good humor) In Madhavnagar, its not fun to go buy vegetables!

Krith: OK, am sorry, but you see, Panna, in Malleswaram, it's a pleasure to shop for veggies....OK say you are on your morning walk, you see fresh, great looking, greater smelling green leafy vegetables, conveniently sold by a cycle vendor, standing and shouting at the top of his well honed voice.........You would definitely buy them and go that length of telling your neighbor about it.....you see its that simple. There are no such simple pleasures here(US of A). We "need" to buy groceries and drive at least three miles to get to the store......after all as the cliche goes, how much can you eat outside.

Panna: OK Krith, I need a break from you now, love ya gnite!

Krith: Man, I'm so gonna blog about this!! Luv you too bye!

Some where in the background, the winds sung (and that too, at 28 miles per hour!!)......its a long way home now.....

Curtains Close!!

Of the Biographies and Entrepreneurship

Recently I was on gtalk with Chandrika, doing my daily dose of chatting. Man......logging in to gtalk and facebook is as good as your ablutions! So I log in everyday.....jump in to the humdrum-ness of the society and enjoy it too :) (I resolved to get a life in 2011 BTW! :))

So ya... I was chatting with Chan and I remembered that I needed some blog feed (quite literally, things that my blog can feed on, things out of which, I can cough-up something), so I asked her: "Chan give me something to write about", without thinking twice she said, "Kriths, write about me!". And there it was!! My"blog feed".

Every human at the end of the day wants to be heard. Every person needs to feel 'listened to'. Its as simple as that. There lies a certain part within each of us, which wants our story told. By told, I do not mean gossiped about, oh no! Believe it or not its an ego swelling agent :) .The fact that someone would want to spend their time and energy telling your story, makes you feel good, and in today's day and age, mostly everything is about the feel good factor.

OK moving on, if someone asked you, where do you wish to get in life, what would you say? Well, I'd say that its most satisfying when you are able to create employment and are able to engage in charity work. By charity I mean, getting out on the field and doing something yourself, rather than cutting out big fat checks (cheques actually :)) from your father/spouse/anyone-fed bank account.

In India, almost 50 percent the households employ domestic helpers. This form of employment, benefits a lot of people and reminds you that in almost everyone of us, there lies an entrepreneur. I was amazed at how a normal, salaried, middle class-household, like most of ours, can create jobs. Try finding out how your domestic help makes his or her ends meet and that story, to me is a success story, worth being told. There's a saying, 'Stretch as much as your bed will allow you to' and that's exactly what most people do in our country. Never imagined how important the saying was, until I started living it myself.

I always try to stick to one topic, while writing, but that seems impossible. When there is so much going on around us, how is it possible to stay thematic?!! Maybe some blog-meditation should help.....what say :D!

When Gone Are Those Days

Its snowing this time around the year! What's new one would ask, true, sadly nothing about snow is new! But the way it makes me feel now, as compared to how it made me feel last year, has dramatically changed :) ! I hate all the white around me! Hate is a strong word and that's exactly how I feel about it! Maybe all this is coming out of getting stuck at home all alone during a scary blizzard :)....well maybe!!!

So out of this snow-inflicted boredom came a poem. This is probably tantamount to the worst possible boredom any of you have had ever, some of you might have watched a movie, taken a nap or well..... the options are endless, I decided to write a poem. Its absolutely cynical!! :) What the poem means, is left to you to figure out, if you really want to be a virtuoso :)

Yes, these are random writings,
Repeated if's, but's and may's,
Could meaning lie in musings,
When gone are those days.

So, strong willed you leave,
To take on the yessums and nays,
To feed on memories up your sleeve,
When gone are those days.

It is true, matter of factly,
Character builds with necessary frays,
There is no looking back, now, sadly,
When gone are those days.

You achieve, you get some where,
Having stood still during lulls and sways,
Tougher now, familiarity is rare,
When gone are those days.

Ultimately, down to this, it came,
Either one returns or stays,
But, will it, now, be the same,
When gone are those days.

Finally, inside you, tells a voice,
You go back home, to your own ways,
Hoping you will smile at your choice,
When gone, will be, those days.

Home Sojourn

Ironical as it may seem, I finally took a vacation and went back home for three weeks. After two and a half years, I went back to familiar territories, only for a while. As the saying goes, a place where everybody knows my name...well not quite!

The vacation was excellent. What else could I say after all those days....long time really! Let me tell you this, everything looked different for the first few days. Somewhere between battling jet lag (delightful concept!), enjoying Mom-made coffee and catching up with Dad, I was trying to ease myself in to everything I had left behind.

Did getting the hang of things back home take time? Oh yes it did. I did walk around with a look of - "Oh, is this how it's done" or worse "Is this how I used to do it" - for a few days.....I was acting quite 'dumb', the only difference here, however, was that I had black hair :).

Though I was brought up in Bangalore, I became a grown-up half way around the world from there. Shouldering responsibility, decision making and facing consequences, all these are hands-on lessons. You will not know what it is like to be thrown in to the deep end of the pool until you actually are thrown in to one. No doubt we train for bigger challenges at home, but only in the world outside, do you actually subject yourself to any hardship, if at all you do.

So 'what is' and 'what isn't' about this entire concept of 'living on one's own' :

'What it is' is this: It's necessary because it's growth. Growth, not because you have the edge of foreign currency, but because a qualified individuality which can benefit the society. Living on one's own could be even in the the same city, same locality, as guardians do, but it's also fending for one's own needs and knowing how much milk or rice would cost.

Freedom: Its yet another important treat.....seldom do people realize that freedom comes with consequences, its a package deal! If one has the freedom to act according to one's thoughts, one will have to live with its consequences. In a solo set up, freedom manifests in to consequence quite fast, especially when you are the only one left to pick up the pieces....hence you learn to set limits and stick to them.

Humility and humanity: When there is no one physically present to serve you food, launder your clothes or give you a simple hug, you value what you left behind. You realize that people should never be taken for granted and the fact that not everyone is blessed with good company all the time.

What 'it isn't' or 'should not' become is a mind numbing experience....remember one always carries what one learned as a child. Values, principles, even the accent. One needs to change for the better, accept changes as they are good, but never speak or think disparagingly about a place that makes such a wonderful home.

Not for nothing, does the heart reside back at home always.....the person who said so knew very well that a day would soon come, when home must only reside in the heart and the physical self must reside elsewhere for better or for worse....soaring high, growing up....but returning home to good food, better company and the best feeling of security.

Nostalgia in a Flash

It's been two years since I came to the US of A and a year since I started blogging. When I started writing I felt, oh wow, I have so much to write. The deeper I got in to blogging, I realized it was way harder than I had imagined it would be. Today as I lie comfortably in my apartment, blank and confused, shedding a few nostalgia-laden tears, I cannot help reminiscing over everything, in a flash.

Realizing the American dream, such a cliche isn't it!!! Why does this American dream even occur in the first place? Community, parents, peer pressure? Why?!! What dares people in the sub-continent to dream, pursue and conquer? I wonder where we get the strength from. To take on the challenges of settling down in a foreign land, is definitely something. But why did I start off and where? I come from this residential area in Bangalore called Malleswaram. Every house in this area has at least one Non-Resident Indian. I keep telling my mom that Malleswaram is filled with single parents. Single because somewhere down the lane, their children hopped on to the bandwagon of "foreign land dream pursuers" and left. Left, some would say, is a harsh way of putting it. Now a days parents want their kids to leave, the long list of software companies in Bangalore would fire employees if they refused to go abroad, and if some one wanted to stay back in India and work, they would be judged!! Do you see what sort of pressures our generation faces. A harmless next door neighbor, going about doing his own things, is also in some remote way, a threat to your own survival!! The fittest being in this day and age is truly a piece of art I must say, for to survive in today's world in not easy.

On the brighter side of things, my dearest cousin gave birth to a baby girl :)!! I had forgotten how preciously pink babies can be!!! When babies are born, family gets augmented and one realizes the true meaning of the concept "family". My cousin and I grew up together to say the least. As single kids to our respective parents, we shared almost everything in common, expect for the fact that we were two entirely different people. We almost agreed on nothing and fought each other with all our might!! We did very different things and ended up choosing totally different life styles. In all this, we never went over a month without seeing each other. Of course, once she got married and went to live in Baharain, things changed. Once I came to the US of A, things changed furthermore. It has been three years since I saw her in person (The numerous webcam conversations don't count, duh!!!). Nothing is ever going to be the same. What's more, we now have a baby too!! :) I saw my niece on the webcam (Again and yet again, thank God for that damned thing called skype!) and I heard her cry :)!!! That feeling was amazing. It's even more scintillating because it is Supreetha's child. If you have known someone all your life, like I have known Supreetha, then you would understand what I am going through. I just pray to God that I can age gracefully, become a cool aunt, while Supreetha becomes the strict mom and that one day we can narrate our story to our precious girl!! And on the same day, I will show her this blog post and probably go through another run of nostalgia....

Jersey versus Bangy!

In this post:

Jersey= New Jersey (NJ), my current home and comfort zone, Indians can quite comfortably live in their own Indian ways here.
Bangy= Bangalore(Karnataka, India), HOME!!! A place I haven't seen in almost two years now, used to be comfort zone, but well..the concept of comfort zones I have come to realize is an illusion!!
Edison= A small but significant sub-urban area in NJ, home town of Thomas Edision and named after him. It is famous not only for the number of Indians, but also for the general "Indian-ness" it has going on.

I read an article, which was recently published in the Times magazine.

Link: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1999416,00.html

The author, an American, from Edison, speaks about how the whole area has come be populated with Indians and how the entire look and feel of the area has changed. The article is bold indeed and is satirical, few seem to think it is insulting to India. It has stirred up many debates among Indians, of all origins, citizenship and residential status.

An opinion of the article was also published by 'The Hindu'.

Link: http://thehindu.com/opinion/lead/article495461.ece

It's very well written indeed, a no non-sensse illustration and is worth your time.

So where does good old Bangy fit in this equation......well as I see it Bangy is no different from Jersey.

Ever since the IT industry started growing (perhaps even earlier than that, but I would not be able to comment on that time frame!!) Bangalore has drawn crowds from all over the country. Bangalore, for one has no natives of it's own. It has always been a city made of people from other places. For some reason, a few people who stayed longer than the rest became Bangaloreans and the others became people who have settled down in Bangalore.

The city is cosmopolitan like no other! It's amazing, how much cultural diversity it offers. Then why do we complain???

People in Bangy town are too guarded about their space. Almost everyday the 'other people' who decided to settle down in Bangalore, be it for livelihood or otherwise get blamed for all that has been going wrong with the city. This particular attitude puts me off, somehow!! How are we to think of a unified country if we cannot learn to be tolerant. So what if people from other places wanted to come and settle down in Bangalore!!

I wish people were less possessive about their territories (ya ya...some philanthropic talk!!) Untimately, how much land does a man need? Something to think about.

Two Posts and One Evening....

Do you remember this movie called 'Yuva' made by Mr. Mani Ratnam. This is indeed one of the best movies made till date. Unfortunately very under rated. The public at large has the worst mood-swings. While flicks with no meaning click at the box-office, sensible movies like this somehow don't make an impact at all.

I am not trying to be a critic. But a few things are definitely thought provoking. When one of the heroines asks the hero why he loved her, he says it's all hormones! Wow....this is so true!! After all, everything is about hormones is it not???!!!! No wonder the world is prepared to invest big bucks in the field of genetics. If a string of proteins is basically the reason for almost everything in this world, then why let it be....why not tamper with it so that it can be reversed to favor mankind..right?? Well.... when will we ever learn to let things be.....

The movie by the way is also about politics.....About how young people enter politics as independents and swear to bring about radical changes in the society....It's a really strong and necessary move....especially for growing economies....I know that I have not supported this theory enough, but I will in future.....at this moment hunger has taken over.....and it's not like we can ask our mothers for food out here..... :)

The sweetest thing happened two days back...I was 'skype-ing' (another modern jargon combining man and machine) with my parents and was having trouble falling asleep...and my Mom offered to sing a lullaby for me :) Wow....I did offer my thanks to technology at that instant....and was even more thankful for life....even with all it's atrocities :)